Here I go again on my own….

 

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Hello you,

So, after what turned out to be almost five months, I will be starting a full time job on Monday. I know, I can’t quite believe it either. I don’t want to go into too much detail but I will say that the job is in a new sector (yes!) with reasonable hours and a lot closer to home. Also, I have a personal interest in the work that they do. So that is also great.

“Now, what you do you have to be concerned about?” I hear you ask. Well reader. I haven’t divulged my mental health issues. Or my long-term illness (I’m less worried about this) to them.  But I don’t know what their reaction could be. Even though, legally they cannot reaction a certain way, it doesn’t stop some people from looking at me differently. Like I am unbelievably fragile or someone to stay clear of. Instead of someone whose off days are just different or a bit more frequent than someone elses and might take disappoint a bit more personally than someone else.

As much as people are working on making mental health less of a stigma, it is still difficult. I still fight the urge to correct anyone who claims that their interest in keeping a clean home is “sooo OCD” or screaming at people who say “just get over it. It’s all fine. Just smile and your mood will improve.” In reference to depression.

But, I am trying to stay positive. I have a good feeling about my soon to be colleagues and I am optimistic about keeping up a balance between work, family and friends, new people and most importantly, trying not to define myself by how work is going. I never want my whole mood to be dictated by my work again. It is just too much.

I won’t give up. As tiring as it is, to be the kind of person who thinks through every single action in a meticulous manner and worries a lot about the ripple effect of their actions, it is so much better than being all of those things without help.

Have a great week.

All the best,

FTY

 

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